| Apricot isnt very good heated |
[20 May 2008|12:13am] |
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M.I.A- 20 dollar |
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My schedule this semester couldn't be more chill.
But books really put a dent in this month. And I baught the new Chuck Palahuniuk book. And a baithing suit.
I'm toneing down the red tonight. Its a little too bright for me right now. Its hot though. Very me circa Bruc'es basement.
Ryan just left again last night for another week. awesome. He's starting to question me about about my dedication given the inevitable distance in our relationship. It sucks but I knew this was part of the whole process. I can't expect him to not worry about an enviroment he cant control. The thing thats always been a pillar for our relationship has been our ability to talk things through and be honest about the relatily of our situation. He knows I love him more than anything in this world. I just need to reassure him.
The house is amazing. My roomates are also. I have had a good time every night since we moved in here. We're getting our puppy next weekend. It was born on 4/20 which is so cute. My little stoner baby. I dont know what to name her yet.
gotta go to bed to get for an 8am art history...weak. the book is bigger than I am.
* * * *
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| Rainy Season |
[03 Mar 2008|02:47am] |
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Chiodos- Bone Palace Ballet |
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Theres something exillerating about the way it feels to roll down the window and while anticipating the warmth of spring your suddenly hit with the crisp remenance of winter. It reminds me of menthonl cigarettes and Death Cab for Cutie. That time between now and late April when everything seems to linger on the breathe of a new season. I love the fog and the condinsation on the windows. The late afternoon rain showers. The light blanketing gray of the sky.
Thank God for the kind of company that appricaites simple things. It feels good not to ride alone. I will be lonely yet Norfolk.
Classes tomarrow and hopefully the gym. Im not going to be aprehensive. I have a goal.
Back to red.
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| I don't even care if the pic is too big |
[21 Jan 2008|11:37pm] |
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Aparently girls who have sex without condoms are less likely to have depression because the chemical makeup of sperm actually balances girls out to the point that they become chemically dependant on their spouses sperm and it helps stable moods and deal with other hormonal embalances...
Its gonne be a long depressing year while Ryans on deployment =(
Also, I love this pic:
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[11 Dec 2007|10:48pm] |
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Chiodos |
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I woke up this morning to find a cute little nug of some dank under my pillow
...How did it get there?
It didnt grow legs and walk from my stash jar all the way arcoss the room and im sure I wasnt that baked when I was watching all three Lord of the Rings last night...hmmm. So naturally I poured a glass of OJ, packed a bowl and watched Boondocks til work.
Coutndown to my Boos coming home!
Alex- nine days
Ryan- ten days
Robin-soon?
I cant wait!
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[02 Dec 2007|02:52pm] |
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music |
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311- fuck the bullshit |
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Ever time he looks at me and smiles I can imagine our entire lives together and know that there will never come a day that I dont wake up and live for that smile. and that is the greatest feeling in the world.
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[20 Nov 2007|11:43pm] |
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Its amazing that I cant remember this time last year. Or that I cant recall almost an entire two months of my life. But I think I'm at a point where I dont feel regret anymore. I just cant bring myself to regret anything that made me smile and when I think back, all i remember is laughing hard and listening to panic at the disco and Katie's saturn and crazy runs that took us through the ins and outs of woodbridge. I learned so much about that town and met so many different people. I should have gotten arrested or worse from all the crazy shit we pulled but god it felt great to just roll with punches and take life as fast as it was coming at us. I should write about all the things I experienced and all the situations I found myself in if I ever get to a point where my mind can clearly and chronologically determine a timeline.
But a year later I can honestly say I'm so much more whole of a person. I cant remember a time Ive been sad or lonely or felt broken in so many months and thats what Im thankful for this thinksgiving. That I was strong enough and found a person who loved me enough to realize that there are other kinds of happiness that are more fulfilling than the kind I was chasing after.
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| Beer belly |
[13 Nov 2007|03:55pm] |
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Flogging Molly |
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So I think I drank more this last weekend than I have since back when it was "Laurens house summer 06"
It was fun though! Eddie came down with Beans and Davis and Trinna came over and we introduced Trinna our "crazy drinking games"
We also went over to Ryans friends house again and the girls were a little more chill this time. But they dont drink so I was still the only one drunk with the guys. And I made the random decision to pierce my lip. One of Ryans friends is a piercer and brought his kit to the party. Ryan got his labret done which is so sexy on him. Hes got the face for it. But this morning we had trouble getting the ball off so he could go to work. He ended up leaving 45 min late but he would have gotten beat if the saw it. I cant wait to change the ring in mine. Its big to allow the swelling (which I like cuz my lips look all plump!) but it doesnt hurt at all and didnt hurt to get done.
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| Are there no decent girls here! |
[08 Nov 2007|11:33am] |
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Greatful Dead- touch of gray |
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Last night Ryan and I went to hang out with some of his friends from work and instead of sitting with the other wives and probably bitching about why their husbands come home late from watch or dont call them every second of every day, I was running the beer pong table with Ryan. and I could tell by my failed attempts at conversations with these girls and their rolling eyes that they didnt really appriciate the fact that I would rather hang out with the guys than with them. But I guess its just inevitable that I connect better with boys. I always have. The problem is now Im meeting some really cool guys who have really lame wives. And I hate that now its a package deal lol And it probably didnt help that instead of taking their offer to go to the gym, I stayed home and played drinking games with the guys all afternoon...But thats what I like to do and it just seems like these girls are on a completely different page. But Im not gonna sit around and be bored and Im not going pretend to be someone Im not. I dont nag, I dont complain, and all I want to do is have a good time. And even though its funny and kinda flattering that the guys wish I would rub off on their wives, it seems like these girls would just be too big of a project. I bet they would LOVE if some of the girls I roll with came down. So Robin, jessi, jenny, I might need you guys to come and show these wack VA beach girls whats up!
well I gotta walk to food lion since my cars tags are expired and get a cherry coke and some tooth paste. My exciting life lol
<3
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[06 Nov 2007|05:27pm] |
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So where have I been?
Lets see...Today is my one month anniversary! and to make it better I got the job Ive been wanting at H&M which is awesome. And I also registered for spring classes. I changed my degree to graphic design so Im going to be up to my ears in art classes. Jenny I may have to call upon your advise sometimes. But we'll see how I do.
So I have a good job, Im excited about school and i've had a great 1st month of marriage! I really have nothing to complain about.
And Ryans housing allowance FINALLY kicked in so with my job and that we have plenty of money to pay the bills and still enough to play with. We just cant pop out any babies anytime soon! (sorry jenny!). Ryans been thinking about being a firefighter when he gets out which i support 110%! I have visions on sweaty sexy heroic men when I think of fightfighters.
basically things are great :) better than they've been in a LONG time.
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| OMG! |
[19 Sep 2007|04:54pm] |
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Im getting married!
adshjvba;fdjv ba:DFSJkb v!!!!
Seriously, if someone had told me back in high school when I sweated the NUTS off Ryan that he would ask me to marry him someday I would probably have laughed and thought never! He wawas alway that hot stoner guy who always made me blush but was forever tied down in a crazy relationship that forced me to crush from afar. But everytime he was around I alway felt like we connected so well. The way he tried to teach me to skate in bruces circle late at night and flashed me that gorgeous smile while promising to catch me if I fell, and how he hugged me sometimes for a second longer than he should or just how his laugher was so contagous it made me feel jeleous of the girl who got spend her time with such a chill guy. I smoked my first blunt with Ryan, I mean I got my first job at dominos for this kid just so he would notice me back in the day. I never thought it we would end up together! I cant wait til the class reunion for this one, who would have guessed?!
The wedding on Oct.6th and then we're going to Mountain Lake to stay in a private cottage with a hot tub looking over the river! its gonna be amazing! I wish I could invite everyone but honestly, we're broke and the wedding is gonna be small anyways. But I promise to post pictures and I just want to say thank you to those of you who have been there for us and one final fuck you to everyone who said we wernt good for eachother!
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[14 Jun 2007|02:49pm] |
I love when Robin comes to visit! (sorry about the guitar hero and being kinda cranky. Ive been feeling a little off the last week.)
I got alot done today and felt like shit the entire time. My head hurts, I couldnt sleep at all last night and the taste of coffee this morning made me wanna throw up. plus its raining.
blah
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| Hey guys! |
[04 Jun 2007|05:08pm] |
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Rihanna- umbrella |
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It might seem like I've fallen off the face of the planet but thankfully I've landed in a pretty good place.
The apartment I moved into is great (despite all the negative comments on apartmentratings.com) and we've managed to make the place our own over the last month by hanging posters and rearranging things until its finally beginning to feel lived in. Theres a little park across the street so most of my days are filled with childrens laughter which is suprisingly uplifing and while Ryan's at work I usually sit outside and read and study. Theres a big tree in front of our portch which gives just the right amount of shade and the weather here is amazing. I've always loved summertime.
School is turning out to be a welcomed challenge and much more managable away from the nonsence I seemed to get myself into back in woodbridge. Needless to say, the drugs here are well...not nearly as much a part of everyday interaction like they were back home. I have mixed feelings about this only because addiction is very much mental and even when the supply has run out, theres always that little tick in the back of your mind that misses the crazyness of it all. But stifiling the inner lindsay lohan in me and getting away was probably the best thing for me and needless to say im much healthier and happier than I was before.But I wouldnt mind getting my hands on some decent weed. Once a pothead, always a pothead but as far as the really fun stuff is concerned, I think I've used and abused my way out of it all.
Ryan and I are doing so good that 'great' or 'wonderful' dont even begin to describe where our relationship has come. I knew that moving in together was a big step but its definitly lead us in the right direction. We're finding out more eachday that we work so well together and even that we balance eachother out more than expected. He makes up for everything I lack and vise versa. And theres this amazing comfort in the fact that we want the same things in life, that were headed in the same direction and even though we differ in so many ways, we complement eachother not only in our personailties but our behaviors as well. Ive never felt as much support as I do from him. And Im realizing that the way I feel for him isnt based on need, its based on pure enjoyment of his company. He wakes up and leaves for work everyday at 4:30 and we both go about our days focusing on what each of our lives demand away from eachother knowing that we have eachother when the days over. It just seems as if for the first time in my life my priorities are together. Our relationship doesnt interfere with our everyday duties, if anything we have such a stronge level of support for eachother, it improves and motivates us in our own respects. And I still get butterflies when he kisses me. Hes turned out to be my best friend and ive fallen in love with him in a way that makes me want to experience evrything a life with him could offer. Its probably the most sure Ive ever been about anything in my life.
But with all the updates aside, if anyone wants to come visit us and go to virginia beach and just kick it down here in the 757, give me call. Alex is coming home friday for a thirteen day leave before he goes out on deployment and he'll be staying with us the entire time. Im sure he would love to see some familiar faces before six months at sea! and I wouldnt mind the company either. Jenny Novak this means you!
<3 Lauren
oh, and p.s- Im in the market for a sexy lady who wants to get railed out by ryan and I...
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| FINALLY im out bitches! |
[10 Apr 2007|12:42pm] |
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So I guess this is it Woodbridge, my final and very long awaited goodbye.
Ryan has gotten his orders and moved to Norfolk and the only thing keeping me from being there right now is I need to pack our things and find an us an apartment. I spent the weekend down there and honestly I didnt want to come back. You have no idea how great it feels to be able 2 fall asleep and wake up in his arms. And now we can have that everyday with the exception of when he goes out to sea. We spent last night chillen with Davis and some of his friends and it was awesome. It was like a little piece of home and it made me want to live there even more. So now my mission is to find a place and if things go as planned we're renting a truck and moving down there in about two weeks. I cant WAIT!!!
He told me that hes going to Iraq on his tour and my stomach dropped and all I could think about was spending as much time with him right now as I can and hopefully take his mind off it. I cant begin to explain the ways i love him and I cant imagine my future without him. And how ever long I have to wait for him is worth it becuase I swear theres nothing that has ever felt so right in my life as the way he loves me.
In other news: in four classes from my degree and should be starting at ODU in the fall.
If anyone has any extra furniture they dont want thats not too beat up let me know! all we have is a bed. (which is fine by me!) but putting my nymphoness aside, we need to eat on something and maybe have somewhere for you guys to sit when you come to our HOUSEWARMING KEGGER? maybe? we'll see. but there will def be a party of sorts.
im sorry that im hard to get ahold of. things are kinda hurried right now. when they settle down ill be able to fill everyone in on everything.
<3
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[23 Mar 2007|02:25pm] |
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Its interesting to see where everyones lives are taking them.
I have friends who are getting accepted to really good intern programs and friends doing study abroad and friends who are in the military and friends who are in jail or should be in jail. And its just stange to realize that everyone is growning up and into themselves and i sometimes wonder how things would have been different for me if I was headed in the same direction as anyone I really associate with anymore. But lately its seemed that I dont have alot in common with the people around me or even the people who I wish were around me.
Im still in school but its so hard to focus and Im taking all my hours online so I can work full time. Im even looking into to getting a second job during the day to make up for the money in not making in the first one. And working two jobs was never in the plan, but I guess I should have been more responsible and less drug addict and then I wouldnt have lost so much focus and motivation and money.
But even though Im not at the same place as everyone else right now, and Im having to work hard to make everything workout, Im not unhappy. Ive actually got it pretty good all things considered. and I might be the only one of my friends who will get married anytime soon and Ill probably be the first to start a family but honesly, Im okay with that. I'm going to stay in school get a job down there part time and start my life with him. And im going to do my best at whatever it is I commit to from here on out. If its being his wife and loving him and being strong and supportive of him and his career, then Im going to be the best fucking wife ever and Ill love him with everything I have. And if its being a student and getting good grades, then ill study as much as I have to to get the best job I can. And if, by some chance, Its being mom, then Im going to be the best mom I can be and sacrafice whatever I have to for my family. And I guess since family life is in my near future, its good that im getting everything in order. Im getting a free car from my grandparents so that means no car note each month and i only have to pay liability for Ryan and I which is really cheap on a cadillac. Im getting a three bedroom house on 1/4 acre of land in norfolk which is already paid for also. that means NO MORGAGE!!!! and since the house is free Im going to take a loan out on it to do some renovations, add new carpet and repair some cabnits and shit. Ryan moves down to Norfolk in april so I have a few weeks to get everything together. Its a modular home (like a step down from real house but a step up from a trailor) and I dont give a fuck what anyone wants to say about it becuase Ryan and I are poor and base housing is full and its bigger then any apartment we could afford.
but basically at 20, im gonna be a junior in college, living in Norfolk in a free house, driving a free car, and falling asleep everynight next to the love of my life.
it could be worse.
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| so this is loooove |
[08 Mar 2007|11:14am] |
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Incubus- summer romance |
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Last night someone asked me about Ryan and I.
How he likes the Navy, how I'm holding up with the distance and everything. I'm so used to those questions that sometimes I actually begin to believe myself when I tell people that its not that bad, that I'm doing pretty good all things considered.
And honestly, even on the worst of days, its never unbarable. I never wake up and question that this is something I want to do. I've never once doubted that everyday away from him is worth being with him at all.
Which I guess stems from the outragous crush I had on him for yeeeeeeeears. I dont think theres anything that boy could do to make me not head over heels in love with him. I thank God everytime I look into those sexy ass eyes and know hes mine. Hes the only person to ever make me melt. When we talk i feel like I want hang his words, appriciating any chance to hear his voice that I can get and when he kisses me my face feels warm and my body feels light. Whenever Im with him my cheeks always hurt from us laughing for hours, bullshitting and playing around like little kids. And it was while chasing eachother through hotel hallways on this last trip to see him that I realized I've never felt like this before.
I've realized that hes the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the only thing I dream about at night and even after almost a year im still taking in the fact that hes mine. When I think about him i still get butterflies and when im with him I still blush everytime he tells me he loves me. And thats why Im going to marry him and have little ratshit babies becuase Ryan is most amazing guy Ive ever met and I love him so much that all I can do when I think about it is smile.
Im driving to Pensacola. I may never come back.
I just want to be where he is...:-(
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| The best ten days Ive had in a verrrrry long time! |
[03 Jan 2007|05:15am] |
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Planning a trip to the zoo just so I could see that baby panda. Getting me great seats at my very first professional hockey game. Pigging out at Philips and Red Lobster AND that nasty ass fancy mexican place with the funny tasting quacomle. Getting me really high and making me pee my pants from laughing so hard. Watching movies with me even if I fall asleep in the first five minutes. All the BK lounge trips in the morning when I looked a hot mess. Helping me jump my car cuz Im an idiot. Loving me even when im ghettoboo. Dancing like a loser with me and not caring if anyone thinks were gay. Bringing in the new year with the best kiss ever! Introducing me to cadences and making me hear them in my sleep lol. Hooking me up with my navy sweatshirt. Giving me dimonds. Giving me kisses. Giving me orgaisms that make me black out. And for being the best goddamn boyfriend in whole entire world.
I love you Boo!
P.S- Props to Miss Jessica Schmale for throwing the MOST kickass new years party Ive ever attended! <3
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| My boo is back! |
[29 Dec 2006|04:53pm] |
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my boo making an |
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I seriously havent smiled this much in months. :-)
I hope he knows how much I love him. And how sexy he looks right now ;-)
aliuhfvauvbgabvav
I dont want him to go back to florida.(!!!)
gay
but the good news is, were going to the zoo any minute and its gonna be awesome! and then were going out for a dankass dinner and then, if things go as I hope they will, were gonna go back to my house and watch movies and make love and kick it all night. :-) sounds like a good day to me.
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[30 Nov 2006|09:25pm] |
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311- Amber |
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I just found out that since Ryan's A school is so backed up, they're making a new one in Norfolk and he and alex are probably going to be going to school there. This means that his 6 months in pennsacola are going to be in Norfolk instead! which means I can see him any night and every weekend when he has liberty. And Im moving there in may and he'll already be there and he requested to get stationed there. (!!!!!!!!!)
Things keep getting better and for a while Ive been waiting for the catch but maybe for once in life, things are just supposed to work out. :-)
On another note, I was looking at the last picture I posted of Ryan and I and I noticed how classic it looks. Its so youthful and it looks like hes about to go off to war and Im inevitiably that "girl back home".Im going to school to be a nurse and hes a sailor...so "america dream"-ish. But I love it <3
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[28 Nov 2006|09:54pm] |
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Mazzy Star |
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Things are coming together better than I ever imagined they would. All of the sudden everything is looking up. Seeing him put alot in perspective for me and for the first time in ages I feel like my life is on track. I know what career I want to do, what school I want to go to, I have arrangments to get my first place this summer in Norfolk and a boyfriend who loves me and supports me in every step I take. I hope this keeps up.
It feels good to be where I am. :-)
I Love You <3
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